Blessed, blessed, blessed, blessed, blessed, blessed

The culmination of lots of mileage on my wheels since November has ended in a sloppy mess in my house and head.  And it's hard to remember peace.  And it's harder to remember that really, I do have peace...that all the "stuff" shows that we have way more than we need (or want). 

I call these things my 2nd world problems:  the mess I refer to, how to stage the cutest Christmas card photo, how to organize the kids' toys, what to part with to make way for new toys, and when to take down the pre-lit, frosted tree.  2nd world problems embarrass me most when I let them ruin my peace.  Anybody else out there have the same problem?  I know the answer.  We're all more alike than we are different.  Some of us are just a little more OCD than others.

On another note, we received word that our migrant workers made it safe and sound to Nayarit!  After days of driving, I KNOW they were glad to get out of a 2-seater and stretch 3 sets of legs.  Bless them.  Shawn is finishing the tobacco on his own now, and should be done any day.  He's also working on the farm business', farm store's, and our personal taxes.  Plus, he's still working occasionally at the accounting firm, much to his chagrin, as he feels the farm always calls him away (not to his chagrin).  The farm store is closing up for the cold winter months, and we are going to have family staying with us at the end of the week (for 7-10 days).  I'll be found working my pt job, and working off 10 lbs on our old trusty treadmill.  For the second time, I'll be attempting to do so without using Weight Watchers (attempt one didn't go well).  I prefer a structured plan but with freedom to eat real stuff (I cook a lot, remember I married a farm-raised farm-boy), so I hope I can do this sans Weight Watchers (Phil 4:13).  I plan to report every 2 weeks!  I've been a big ME fan for over a decade.  The picture pretty much sums up the feeling I long for after all the mileage since November!  I need a breath of fresh air.....to realize I'm much too blessed to be stressed.  Forgive me, Lord, I always forget.


  





   

Crazy Acceptance Noted at Christmas Party

Most who know me would say as compared to others in a rural Southern town, I'm eccentric.  I don't think I would be considered remotely eccentric if I were living in a big city, but to many people around me, I am (yes, they've told me).  As I have mentioned before, choosing public school was a big, huge, major decision for me.  It was a no-brainer for my hubby, and had I listened to him from the start, I would have saved myself some (ok, lots) of worrying!  (And needless discussion, headaches, tears, and a lot of people's ears wouldn't have fallen off!)  I can only hope I'm getting better at praying than talking.  I digress...So I prayed and not only did did my girl make an instant friend, she was assigned a great teacher (who prays for her students), and she also has an aide (who prays for the students as well).  No one told me what an added bonus-blessing the aide could be!  HUGE, I tell you.  I want to express my appreciation, but, how do you thank someone for caring so much for your child that she notices subtle cues and after praying, reacts in ways higher than her own ways?  My best effort will have to be written because I express best that way.  In addition to taking care of G, God answered prayer unaware for me, too. I'm so excited about this!  These newfound friends we've made at school this year not only love my child, they accept me.  Cuh-raz-iness.  Yay!  And by that I mean, I have really been myself (my freakishly compulsive self, especially since the events just last Friday) , and these people like me!  Did I say yay!?

 
Today in the middle of twenty 5-6 year olds and about 8 adults, I had a settling, comfortable feeling come over me.  I stepped back, looked around at the blessed chaos of wrapping paper, cupcake wrappers, and the like, and realized what it was!  And I was / am grateful.  So for this year, again I say, yay!  I made reindeer water bottles for the class party.  I'm showing them off, because this is about the extent of my artistic/creative side.  If you're artistic, be thankful.  God's gift to you, and to people like me who aren't but who can admire your creations!

PeAcE OuT

 

On Sunday, my youngest asked his grandmother what she wanted for Christmas.  She welled up, started to cry, and said "world peace...and for all the little boys and girls to have a happy Christmas."  He watched her with a solemn face for a nano-second, then asked her if she wanted jewelry.  I kind of loved it.  His innocence I mean.  

 

(Sorry I can't remove the top of the picture!)

 

 

I started thinking about peace (lack of it) as I reflected on what she said/how little one responded, and what a very wise friend said:  "It's not about more guns or no guns.  It's about the heart and soul."

 

In order to have world peace, we must have inner peace.

 

 

In order to have inner peace, we must have hope in Jesus.

 

John 3:16

For God so LOVED (insert your name) that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

 

Peace in and PeAcE OuT

 

 

J

 

J= Jesus

J=Joy

Good reminder:  Like many things in life, it's all in how you look at it!

 

 

 

Sweet blessings!

 

 

After handing out candy canes today in the cold weather, I was reminded again that when I go with the intent to "be" a blessing, I end up "receiving" a sweet blessing (or several)! 

 

 

 

Sweet moment w/ my sweet girl.

Soft White Light

There is something about soft white light.  A few evenings ago, I was putting up laundry back in my bedroom while my little ones were playing quietly.  The train rumbled by, the tracks parallel to the farm land behind our house.  It was dusk, as you can see in the picture, and dusk always holds me captive.  You can tell how the day went in our home by how things are at dusk.  Peaceful day=happiness inside us and our home at dusk.  Hectic day=mad dash at everyone and everything at dusk.  (Just being honest!)  The day I took the picture had been a pretty peaceful day.  As the train rolled, I stopped to watch it.  I listened to the noise it made, the clattering of steel on steel, both eerie and comforting.  I reached for my phone to attempt to take a picture of the last few cars rolling away.  This is what I got though- what you see now (and no, you can't even see the long black train).  I looked at the picture right after, and it conjured up a story of my life.  A story of soft white light. 

My mom was purging a couple months ago, and in doing so, decided to get rid of a lamp she's had my whole life.  She was going to give it to my aunt, but I asked if I could have it for sentimental and practical reasons both, and she let me!  When I brought it to my house, I immediately put it on the bedside table beside my bed.  I had wanted a lamp for years (literally), but had never bought one because of trying to save $.  When I plugged it in, the light that came from it was comforting.  I told my husband I brought some "home" with me when I brought the lamp here.  He didn't know what I meant.  I snapped it off and took a look at the bulb:  60V soft white light.  The bulbs mom uses are soft white light bulbs!  (Sidenote:  For years, I had been trying to figure out what's so different about my parents' home...the ambience there!)  It's the kind of light that has a calming effect, despite the jarring sound of the train rumbling along (and this applies to life, you know?...Light (Jesus)= Peace in the Darkness (World).  I wrote a little one liner for our Christmas card this year:  "As lights flicker on a tree, may The Spirit illuminate us for all the World to see."  I definitely hope my family and I have a "soft white light effect" on those around us, too, this Christmas season and always.

Peter 2:9
"But you are...a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light."

WONDERFUL SOFT WHITE LIGHT.



And finally:
Thanks, mom, for creating a tranquil place for me my whole life.  Thanks for caring about light bulbs.  Thanks for teaching me all about the importance of The One True Light.  These things intertwine so much that I couldn't talk about one without the other.  A world of gratitude for that very truth.

Without Christ, there wouldn't be Christmas...

My daughter asked me recently, "Momma, what's a tree have to do with Christmas anyway?"  Kind of shocked at the question because it seemed to come out of nowhere, I sputtered, "Whaaat?"  She repeated it clearly.  I'd like to say I didn't, but really I sputtered for the second time, and asked, "Are you asking me what a tree has to do with Jesus?"  "Yes" was her quick answer.  As she frequently is, she was contemplative and she needed a real answer.  I call it divine appointment, because I had j-u-s-t come across a paper that explained the connection between a tree and a saviour.  The sorting and purging to get to it took too many hours away from the things I want to do (be with my kids!)  I've said it before and I'll say it again, the simplifying process can be downright complicated and time-consuming!  Maybe all that time was for this one post-it note, though, written by Shawn about 5 years ago.  Here is what the note said (with a few additions by me) and this is what I shared with my introspective daughter:

The tree points upward, pointing us to Jesus, now in his heavenly home, on the throne, and at the right hand of God
The lights signify that Jesus is the light of the world and cannot be hidden (and also the wise men followed a star when they traveled to see Jesus)
The ornaments symbolize the gifts the wise men brought to baby Jesus (gold, frankinsence, and myrh)

The answer appeased her and I hoped against all hopes that what she learned from it was good and true.  I reflected on it later and the truth is I still have my own hesitations.  Hesitations because I know full-well the origin of the Christmas tree.  I choose to view it through the lens of Christianity, but could I be wrong to do so?  Am I teetering?  Internal dialogue.  I pray not.  I truly do.  I am planning to teach the kids a little more about the 3 gifts because spices and oils are a bit abstract, especially for my youngest.  Keep in mind, he doesn't even know why the wise men didn't drive in an Odyssey to see baby Jesus, let alone why they didn't take him something more modern, like spiderman shooter gloves or a kindle fire.  :)  I am excited because the lesson will be super easy, yet meaningful.  I'm equally excited that I'll get to teach the kids more about it through a production our church does every year.  We'll visit "shops in Bethlehem" and talk about such things.  And that is what I'll be attempting to do again this Christmas season....point the kids to the reason for the season, all cliches aside.  Deep down, I just really want my kids to grasp that without Jesus, we wouldn't have Christmas, nor would we have eternal life.  My fervent prayer year after year is...Dear Lord, Help us to love you more, and in turn, serve others this Christmas season.  Help us to stay focused on the true reason we celebrate in a world that begs to differ.  Amen.

PS The kids' choices for serving others this season:  Grace-bake cookies for someone and have a meal for Nonna and Poppa at our house.  Noah John- throw snow in people's faces.  Oy Oy Oy!  I told you it's a work in progress right?

Thanksgiving

Unfortunately this picture of all of us (minus 3 who had left and 3 who couldn't make it) is not the greatest (the sun was b-right!) BUT it is priceless to me because it includes all of my dad's siblings (5 total)!  Rounding this crew up for a family photo is something one could go into therapy over ;)  All jokes aside, it is quite evident that we ALL come by strong-will temperaments honestly.  Growing up, I was especially close to my Aunt Becky.  I owe her a whole lot because she really played a big part in my life when I was growing up through my days as a college student (I lived with her for 2 years in Lexington...GO CATS!)  Here you see 3 generations.  Gran and Daddy Jack would be so proud and as a tribute to them, I share these next pictures.

Daddy Jack (John Cornelius III) LOVED horses.  I read a letter he wrote when he was 8-10 years old and in it, he asked his parents for a horse.  He must have gotten one, because, he passed the equestrian love on to my dad, who, in turn, also loved horses as a boy, teen, young adult (horses on hold for his crazy job), and now again as a retiree :).  Tennessee Walkers, particularly, but any will do.  We are horse people. If you travel HWY 90, you might see dad on horseback (makes me A NERVOUS WRECK!)  This picture is of Jack and me (named after Daddy Jack).  Jack is my close cousin's baby.  Sister-cousin to be exact.  I'm kinda like his aunt:) and as many of you know, I genuinely LOVE being an aunt with my entire heart.

Honestly, Jack never tired of petting Java.  Java was his favorite by far.  When we walked off, the horses followed us the length of the fence, until we stopped.  Then they stopped and baby Jack reached out to pet them time and again.

 

My dad, Joe West, real mountain man and cowboy, with Jackson West.  We are big on family names!

And this last one, just because these boys all carry on the family name in some way (Noah John, John being mine and Shawn's grandfather's real name), Clark Robert (Clark is my sister in law's maiden name, and Robert, after his dad and my brother, who was named after my grandmother's brother), and again, Jackson West (West was my grandmother's maiden name).  I'm kind of a genealogy nut - or a beginning genealogy nut I should say. 

 

Thankful for the best Thanksgiving ever.  My heart is being tugged at (not for the first time) because I know there are people out there who don't have loved ones to celebrate with this time of year.  Praying for them tonight and asking with shaky knees....  Lord, what would you have me (us) to do?

 

 

 

Home

A week ago, I made a last-minute decision to go home to see my momma for the weekend.  Dad was gone deer hunting all weekend and I knew it would be a time, like it was in my growing up years, when mom and I could be together and relax.  I LOVE my daddy...but sometimes it is good for mom  and I to have girl time.  We hadn't gotten to do this since I had my first child 6 years ago!  This weekend- for that reason- was especially special.  I took my youngest with me, but surprised even myself by leaving my girl to stay with her daddy and do fun things like go to Chuck E. Cheese with her cousin in tow.  The drive home was gorgeous...clear and sunny.  The leaves had fallen off the trees at the bottom but higher up on the foothills, they were vivid, inviting colors.  They seemed to almost say, "keep driving..."  Seriously, they were mesmerizing.  As we got to mom's, the afternoon sun was fading into evening but it felt like time paused for a few minutes and the sun stayed put in that clear, cool November sky before dropping down and pushing the day into dusk.  Have you ever had a moment like that?  It was/is super cool to reflect on.  My boy and I walked up the lane toward the house, and after looking in the house and not finding mom, we headed to the barn to see if she was feeding the horses.  Then my boy saw her.  His NONNA.  And that is just what he yelled...he yelled with full happiness in his voice.  His feet couldn't catch up with his happiness fast enough.  It's a sweet thing to see your child in sheer astonishment and joy at the sight of your mom.  Blessed.  So blessed.  Nonna is the best nonna in this entire world.  She has a gift from God.  Seeing her in action right after I had my kids made me appreciate it, because unfortunately, I took it for granted way too often when I was growing up!

Mom was definitely shocked, but in a good way, to see us.  We all hugged happy hugs and I knew I made the right decision!  We had the best weekend just spending time together.  We stayed up late and talked like we used to when I was in high school, then afterward, I slept the best I'd slept in a long time.  The next morning, we went to visit my best friend together and spent hours talking and laughing on this big soft, hugging couch that overlooked a big, peaceful valley.  I felt like both were there for us that day, just for us, just for that day, although I know that sounds so silly. After that, we took Noah to feed the ducks and geese at the lake.  They waddled and quacked right up to him.  He giggled and my heart warmed again. (PICTURE COMING)  Before we left, we took him to see lots of boats, docked for the winter, and sat overlooking the water.  It was cold, but a great day for the three of us to be at the lake. 

The icing on the cake came when I decided to stay an extra day so I could see my dad on his birthday!  He had some inner contemplations about this specific birthday that I won't get into, so I thought what better time to stay!  So the icing...after being gone all weekend (and coming home without a buck, to his dismay), dad asked me to go to church with him.  At first I said, "No, I don't think I will, I'm tired.  Well, I don't know. I am torn, so maaaybe I will..."  He walked off to do something and I said the same to mom.  Then my soul lit-up and I said to myself....  Yes.  Yes you will go.  There is no contemplation.  Your dad asked you to go to church, the very place you prayed he would come back to (and the lifestyle you prayed for), and the culmination of years of praying from mom.  The drive to town was peaceful.  Sitting together in church (uncle behind me) filled my cup to overflowing.  Psalm 23:5 "You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies and my cup runneth over."  And it did.  And it still does.  I drink from my saucer and give God the glory.  After church, dad had a meeting that ended up lasting almost 2.5 hours.  I can honestly say I have never been happier to wait on somebody in my life.  I am so proud of dad.  Sometimes people live a whole lifetime without figuring it out...as dad said to me a year ago..."I am not perfect and I'm going to mess up, and it took me a long, long time, but I think I've got this figured out."  He went on to talk about life and how God and family are the most important things.  The next morning, I woke up and headed down the steps.  I saw dad face-down, kneeling to pray.  I asked if he was okay, and he said yes.  I realized then that he was praying ever so humbly.  A few minutes later, when I went to shower, I overheard he and mom laugh about me asking if he was okay.  Mom laughed out loud, then when dad questioned her, she caught her breath long enough to tell him he could have said he was inspecting the laminate!  Dad laughed and said he could have said he wanted to get a closer look at the area rug.  JOY, jOy, JoY like no other.  Their laughter was full, and it wasn't just because they were making jokes about how he could have answered me.

Love my parents.  Love my foothills.  And I love my Lord though I fail Him daily.  Yet without relationship and recognition of The Lord, my joys wouldn't be as joyful (laughter on the hugging couch with a true overcomer of a best friend) or my peace so poignant (sleep like I needed down in my soul).  And ya know, when I saw that sunset that seemed to stand still the first day I arrived at "home", I wonder, could it have?  Joshua 10:13 "And the sun stood still, and the moon hung...."  Yes.  It could have.  Did it really?  No, probably not, but the fact that I have faith in who hung it there to begin with is enough for me...HOME.

Sun and Rain/Son and Reign

Today has been a beautiful, reigny kinda day.  :)  I really like rain.  It kind of soothes me, soothes my soul, my nerves.  I get to enjoy it so much during this period when I'm raising my kids, from the cozy closeness of a twin-bed as I nestled in with my little one for a catnap earlier.  Not a day goes by I'm not grateful.  Rainy days remind me of who REIGNS...God!  Yesterday was election day.  Of course, I voted.  I mentioned that yesterday.  I'm reminded and I hold to the scripture in Daniel 2:21:  "He controls the course of world events; he removes kings and sets up other kings. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the scholars."  I continue to pray for our country, for all people in this country, and for our president and vice president, and more intimately, for my people in my little world.  My babies and my man.  My brother and his family.  My closies.  Myself.  Because heaven knows, I need to better myself.  Time is marching on, and my kids are growing fast.  Nobody can change me but me (God in me).  And it is high time.  Speaking of....

A friend came over today and needed to talk...a hug...a prayer.  Before she showed up, I was thinking, "Oh nooo!  I am really not filled up today.  I can't possibly offer her anything good because I'm not filled up myself!"  Some very near and dear friends and I have been discussing how important it is to take care of ourselves (spiritually) so we can take care of our families (and in this case, friends).  I hope I was able to impart something good to my girl.  In the end, I cried for her when she left the room, because my heart aches for my loved ones who ache (also because I can relate on some levels)...and I hugged her tight before she left.  I told her I'd pray.  I fed her a grand meal of cheese and crackers as we talked about stuff like kids' dental appointments and the aforementioned presidential election.  We talked about love, lack thereof, disappointments, improvements, parenting, weight, food, and that big thing called hope.  Hope that there are better, happier days ahead for her and the people in her world.  I pushed her to take care of herself, ever so briefly mentioning, how recently I have barely taken care of my  own self...or how messed-up I am as a wife and momma some days.  I've told her before-- I wasn't trying to withhold my true self.  I just knew she needed an ear today rather than a fellow grumbler.  (Not that she was grumbling, and even if she was, rightly so).  I guess what I'm saying is I knew she needed to know that I know that I know that there IS HOPE.  

Anyway, after she left and the rain completely stopped, out came the sun.  And it's one of those sonshiny days when everything outside suddenly looks kissed by warmth.  Even though it's 40 degrees out.  The sun (son) shines, and because of that, the world looks warm now.  And I don't know quite how but I feel a little more filled up. So very glad for the son. 

I wish I had taken this 20 minutes before when nature was glowing, but do you still feel the warmth?

Let your hair down!

Sometimes I just need to let my hair down!!!  Today I have done just that.  My oldest is out of school today for election day (I voted at 7am!)  We invited her new, sweet friend over (they met at kindergarten orientation!!!)  We baked cupcakes, made scratch icing, sprinkled everything to infinity and beyond, the girls made each other up (Grace gave her friend a blue unibrow, as you see! ;)  After our friends left, my kids basically dragged me outside from warmth comfort to cold, chilly, kiddy fun. We bundled up in sweatshirts and jackets and a blanky and climbed on the hay wagon, romped in the field, climbed into the "treehouse" aka top of the swingset, did the zipline a couple times, then finally came in only to have more cupcakes and another tea party (kool-aid)!  Now, it's tv-time while the dishes wait...and the sprinkles on the kitchen floor will sweep up just as easily in an hour than right this minute!!!  I'm declaring a whole day of letting my hair down...complete with pizza for dinner!!!  I should do this more often!!!  :) And the icing on the proverbial cupcake?  I don't have to work tomorrow either, which means if I want to leave the messy fun until tomorrow, I can (and probably will!) 

Best Summer

THIS BLOG WAS WRITTEN IN JUNE AND I THOUGHT I LOST IT.  THIS WILL BE THE FIRST OF 2 DEDICATED TO SUMMER.


What a great 2 months it's been since my last post!  It's not for lack of want that I don't post.  It's lack of time.  I'm either cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, putting up dishes, picking blackberries, pulling weeds, feeding catfish, gathering an egg, watering the dog, feeding and watering the chickens, playing with the kids, going on sweet dates, working pt, or traveling locally lately.  Oh, and the normal "stuff" like cooking, cleaning, and my ongoing organization projects.


In May,  our oldest graduated prek!  This teacher-momma is proud of all she accomplished!  My parents and my brother and his family and Shawn's mom came to graduation.  They stayed after so we could have the annual cousins camp.

This picture is from day1 of cousins camp.  I made them stay still before the pledge so I could get a pic.  I want to point out that Grace said she had on her "scavenger hunting ensemble"...we like Fancy Nancy :) and she learned the word "ensemble" from a Nancy book and what an ensemble she wore!  Here is a picture from the scavenger hunt...along with some photos of my flowers...and my dog.

Isabelle holding a ballerina rose from my rose bush.  Small but dainty flowers!  It was an item on the scavenger hunt!  Great job, Is!

Tiger lilies  make May a little more beautiful every year.  And to whoever dropped them all off for us to plant 6 years ago...THANK YOU.  Every May since, I've been reminded of how kind people can be!  An added plus is the fact that gran had a different variety of tiger lilies and I always admired them, even picking them once, not knowing better.  She accepted them with a look of shock (ah!  you picked my flowers!) tempered by gratefulness (that was so nice of you to do that for me and bring them to me.")

Hallie, our new dog.  She is half Chessie and half German wire-hair.  She is a handful and we are currently training her to an inground fence.  The kids like her and we are glad to have a doggy again! As you can see, she likes swimming in the pond lots!  Here, she is retrieving a tennis ball. 

The boys!  Have I ever expressed how special these two are?  At 7 months apart, miles mean nothing.  They may be little things, but they are already best buddies.  Little boy blessings.

While family was here, we had air mattresses blown up, floors and couches full, people sleeping everywhere, and it was great.  My family is like the family in the book, The Relatives Came.   It's about a family who travels across the mountains to see their country kinfolk.  It's one of our very favorites.

To quote the book, "The relatives weren't particular about beds, which was good since there weren't any extras, so a few squeezed in with us and the rest slept on the floor, some with their arms thrown over the closest person, or some with an arm across one person and a leg across another."  One night, I went to the living room to check on Noah J, and he was completely off his mattress, on the floor, while 3 others slept around him soundly, including "Uncle Robert" just a foot away on the couch.  The next day, we trekked to amish country (about 40 mins from my house) and ate under a big shade tree...where the boys peed publically before we left!  It was a memory-maker. 

Moving on, so much to share.  This is a picture of us preparing to go kayaking on day 4 of cousins camp.

A couple weeks later, we celebrated my youngest's birthday.  It was a blessed time, and I mean that literally.  It was one of the best parties we've thrown for the kids and somehow, oddly enough, the most relaxing and laid back.  I made the cake with a friend and if you know me well, you know this was a labor of love (not talented or patient enough by myself...it took 9 hours!)

Moving on...
After wonderboy's bday, our church had vacation bible school.  I taught the 5 year old class (Grace's class).  It was by far the best VBC I have ever been part of!  It's a memory we will remember forever, and my girl learned SO MUCH through the lessons, and songs.  After that, the kids headed to the hills for a few days with my folks.  They spent time with their cousins every single day all day.  They romped in the creek, fed the horses, went swimming, jumped on the jumpoline (trampoline :), and at night, plopped in the hot tub, then watched old cartoons.  While they were gone, my hubby and I had a wonderful, relaxing time.  When they returned, our sweet boy had a stomach virus and we somehow managed to lose his blanky the same day!  The next day, Grace and Shawn went to Holiday World w/ friends while I stayed back with Noah.  It was good daddy/daughter time, and I'm still hearing stories about it, like, "OH, and mommy! Daddy put me on his shoulders...and he carried me out of the park that way!"  That is the man I married.  I am so moved at how he plays with the kids and likes to make them smile. I would never give a shoulder ride!  Makes me nervous just thinking of it!  That's why we're good together.  The kids need the balance!

A few days ago, I took the kids  to Chattanooga.  We met up with my very close cousin and her baby Jack.  We had a great time and I'd say we'll make it an annual trip since it's about the halfway point for us.

One of the last double stroller rides for the kiddos!  :)  :(


I'm going to close now, because this is a long post.  The short of it is...best summer ever....

Humility and Reverence: An Example and a Post

I have started several posts and not finished them lately.  I feel like I don't have a lot to offer right now.  My normal blog-reading is way behind, too.  I think my motivation has shifted from keeping up here to keeping up in my house.  Whereas once I could do both, I can't seem to right now.  So this will probably be a lengthy post that lacks quips, creativity, puns, and anything that would give proof to the fact that I hold a bachelor's in English...I promise you this though, it will contain some scripture at the end, so hang in there! 

We've been a busy family the last month (to the day actually).  We've had dr appts with specialists for both kids that has given me a new lease on life.  Grace had to have a kidney/bladder test done.  It was no walk in the park for her (or her daddy and me) but she is a tough cookie and the two ladies who did the procedure said she did great.  Within an hour (have I said we were super impressed), we were told her bladder and kidneys appeared to be functioning normally and that there did not appear to be any damage.  I give God the glory for that.  My parents went to the hospital with us and when we came out and told them (and Noah John) the GREAT NEWS, my mom got down on her knees and thanked God.  I want to be like that.  So focused on Him.  My Grandpa Roy would drop to his one knee NO MATTER WHERE HE WAS.  He was known to get out of his car and get down on his knee in the gravel or whatever.  Humility and reverence joined together. 

Noah John is fine as well.  He has had incidences of limping and "his hip going out" for over a year.  It usually lasts less than thirty minutes but occasionally, he will limp for a few hours.  We took him to see an ortho at a specialty place because we are from a small town and there is no children's ortho here.  We didn't think we were even going to need to follow-up until one Sunday about a month ago.  He wouldn't get out of the floor during Sunday School.  His teacher thought he was being stubborn.  Come to find out-he was having trouble getting up.  I felt so sorry for him when I figured out what was going on.  I had prepared myself to give him a stern lecture when Shawn came to the room and explained that he noticed NJ had been limping earlier!  So...back to the kiddo ortho we went.  The best part about the visit was the fact that his dr's office was located a mere few steps across from Grace's dr's office (and her appt was the very same day).  So we went in one appt, walked across the hall, and into the other appt.  I counted that a blessing too, bc it would have been harder on the kids to have to walk much of a distance.  Noah John's dr is not exactly sure what, if anything, is going on with him.  I'm just going to leave it at that because Noah John has been mostly fine since the appointment.  We did have him tested for muscular dystrophy because he falls so frequently, and that test came back normal...the nurse said Dr. M said it was "very reassuring."  Um, yes, VERY, Dr. M.  Grace and I were on the front porch when I took the call.  NJ had fallen probably 10 times in 1 hour that morning so my mind was abuzz with anxiety.  When I hung up the phone I told Grace that her brother had gotten a good report.  I teared up and told her I'd explain it to her more someday.  She said, "For now that's all I need to know, right?"  I said, "yes."  She said, "I hope I get good results when I have my test done."  I said I believe you will and we prayed.  When you think of my family, thank God for His provision and also lift up my son to be healthy and not have any hip problems.  We are trusting God.

I had no idea when I had babies how much lack of control I would ultimately have over them.  I said that to a friend who has a 2 year old with a heart condition, and she said, "I KNOW!  Why didn't anyone tell us?"  Haha.  There is no love like the love between a mother and her children, except for the FATHER'S LOVE FOR US. 

John 3:16  For God so loved the world that he sent his ONE AND ONLY SON that we should not perish, but have eternal life.

What a relief that someday, we will have a life free of pain, sickness, worry, fear.  I was listening to kids memorize their Bible verses last night at church and one of them memorized this verse, "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."  -Rev 21:4  It is hard to get to church on Sunday nights but I am always blessed when I hear children say scriptures.  I really enjoyed this one, because I thought, how awesome that this little boy has this HOPE ... THANK YOU GOD!!!  I think it is so awesome that I attend a church where the WORD OF GOD is memorized by children at such a young age.  Do I think they will remember every verse I sign off on?  No.  But I do think that they will be blessed for studying it and that the scripture they need will come to mind when they need it.

It's been quiet in my house for a whole hour.  G left with her daddy to go deliver sod in Paducah.  She was decked out just like a country girl should be- jeans and PINK shoes, PINK ball cap, PINK t-shirt.  Little thing climbed up into that semi like a pro!  She has changed by leaps and bounds lately...and I am going to go ahead and say it,  I don't think I have ruined her, despite my many fouled-up efforts of dealing with 'beyond' imaginable strong-willed behavior!  I told her how much I regretted yelling yesterday and she grabbed me with both arms and pulled me to her really fiercely.  That girl is special and I believe God is going to use her!   Little  brother is asleep.  It was either - take an early nap or watch TV all day.  Don't judge!  Lest you be judged!  LOL!!!  He woke in a terribly cranky mood and I'm in the middle of yet another organization project.  Goal is:  a quiet lunch, read the Bible, work on my project, take NJ outside.  He asked me a couple times before he drifted off if I would take him out.  My children are so sweet.  They don't want much.  Just my time.  Working on being with them-in the moment-instead of doing my little projects.  I just keep thinking...organization saves time in the long run.  Somebody pray for me to get there!  I am at a crossroads!  Shawn thinks I'm getting so stressed about it that it is not worth it!  :-/

Signing off while the silence continues...ahhhh.  I think the Lord knew I needed this today.  He is so good like that.

Sleep

I have never understood the saying, "What is sleep to me anyway?" Or "I'll sleep when I'm dead." I have two very close friends who never sleep...they are both really creative and in neat, God-given, God-honoring ways. One has STORES of energy too. The other is patient with a capital P. Again, neither of them sleep much at all. One has 5 children; the other has 3. They're both pregnant. I admire them but don't get them!!! And they both know it! Haha! I need sleep to function well (i.e. get out of bed). I especially need sleep to function happily. I once read that women must take care of themselves physically, mentally, and spiritually to accomplish all God has designed us for. Agreed! Easier said than done, though. Shawn's innocent questioning, "WHY are you so tired? Every night you're asleep by 9:30 and get up the next morning after I've showered?" shows he doesn't get it either. I've told him if he didn't drink 3 Dr. Peppers a day, he too, would be asleep by 9:30. He usually pops a top, takes a cold sip, and pretends to agree. I go on to remind him who gets up w/ the kids when they wake with a nightmare, need to go potty, etc. For example...just last night...the house alarm went off for five minutes. Me: Ugh...the alarm messed up again. Shawn: It did? Me: Yes. For 5 minutes. Shawn: Huh. Didn't hear it. Me: Yes. And Grace had a nightmare about a giant ladybug. She was running from it when an iguana tried to attack her. Shawn: Huh. Me: Yes, she was up briefly. Next, and I kid you not, he said: Why are you so tired? Get up Shanner! I'm leading up to what should have been a great point. As I do as often as I can, I fed the kids dinner early then put them to bed early last night. They rarely nap anymore, so this works out sometimes. Knowing that they got enough sleep to placate a bear in winter, I had visions of a euphoric playday on the farm today. Blowing breezes, warm embraces, healthful picnic, laughter. The kids woke up a little after 7. I began to slowly fix breakfast. It was obvious their moods were positively affected by their early bedtimes...until breakfast didn't come soon enough. I guess I worked a little too slow because by 9:45, they were overly hungry and cranky. I was still feeling pretty positive...afterall Shawn and I spent hours vegging out last night for the first time since I started working part-time. We watched mindless tv for THREE AND A HALF HOURS. We shared some Graeter's ice cream. I reflected on these things this morning while the grouchiness crept in. The kids really like a big home-cooked breakfast and I was excited to have served it up for the first time, ahem, since I started working pt. Nevermind the fact that I didn't get it finished before Shawn left for work. It was the "cat's meow" kind of breakfast for us...veggie omelet with lots of cheese, toast served up with strawberry butter, plain butter, and/or strawberry jelly made from a fellow Farm Bureau friend. We topped it off with double servings of juice, a treat! By the time we were finished, we were fat and full. I left the dishes on the table (something I never do) because the only thing I could do was head to the couch and plop down. I texted Shawn all about it (on purpose, because I know he loves big breakfasts and I know breakfasts have consisted of cereal, maybe fruit, or a granola bar for awhile now). I wanted him to know I still have it in me...I'm adjusting to working and part of that has meant less energy / time to plan meals! The kids watched 2 hours of tv and near the end of watching, began to squabble. It went from squabble to rival in about 15 minutes. I grabbed the remote like it was a sceptor. It did no good. I clicked the power button. Funny how when I do that, the kids go from being arch enemies to fellow comrades against ME. Wailing ensued. Time-out followed. I took a teeny bit of comfort in knowing I had gotten a teeny bit of work done on the computer during their tv time. At this point, I had juuuust about gotten the get-up-and-go I needed to start making Easter eggs (Grace has been begging me for a solid week). I jumped up from the couch and immediately saw that toys were allovertheplaceandinnospecificorder. Operation: toy pickup started. That was two hours ago. Nothing has been picked up. More has been gotten out. Kids have been sent to their rooms to play separately so that they cannot touch each other. The boychild has been called OUT of his room because he jumped on his bed. I've plopped back down on the couch. Dishes still sit on the table. OJ out. Toys scattered. Easter egg kit strewn everywhere. So much for early bedtime setting the tone for the next day. Did I mention I'm still on the couch? Lest I leave on a negative note, I still envision outside playtime today. I just think it will be after our energetic babysitter gets here. I need backup. And a Dr. Pepper.

Light of the World

I've gotten so behind on blogging that catching up is a daunting task. Rather than bore you with excuses, I'm going to start with my devotional from this morning. Let's say I'm going to try to step back into the light, because heaven knows I need to. Most of today's post will be directly from a book called "Serving in His Steps" by Jane L. Fryar. Sorry for the lack of creativity here, but what she said hit home with me, then resounded again later, when a friend blogged about "light" today as well.

"At one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light."

-Ephesians 5:8 ESV

I've neglected my devo/Bible time for quiet some time now. I seemed to stumble through pretty well (note: stumble) until just recently. My reserves of patience and all other things good and Godly ran out- and not in a pretty fashion. I've needed God's sweet grace and kind forgiveness badly. I've needed to know walking as a child of God is possible...as I teach my own children to walk...and that task, too, has been daunting to me.

"Yes scripture is clear: apart from a living, dynamic relationship with God through faith in his Son, we have no hope, no peace, no true "goodness." Our acts of kindness or service are not enough to secure our salvation. When we "walk as chldren of light", we give up the pretense of personal holiness. We beg God's pardon for our self-deception. We confess our attempts to take credit for the good things that God himself has worked in us and through us. We receive forgivenss from the one who tells us bluntly, "Apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:5). We cling to the relationship Christ established with us, drawing strength, wisdom, and discernment from him. We're filled with his love, and we live with his wonderful promise that..."The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter til the full light of day." (Proverbs 4:18)

This afternoon was full of sunshine. The kids and I headed out, but for a few brief minutes, and I snapped this picture. I found it fitting since today's message to me was simple: walk as a child of light!