Soft White Light

There is something about soft white light.  A few evenings ago, I was putting up laundry back in my bedroom while my little ones were playing quietly.  The train rumbled by, the tracks parallel to the farm land behind our house.  It was dusk, as you can see in the picture, and dusk always holds me captive.  You can tell how the day went in our home by how things are at dusk.  Peaceful day=happiness inside us and our home at dusk.  Hectic day=mad dash at everyone and everything at dusk.  (Just being honest!)  The day I took the picture had been a pretty peaceful day.  As the train rolled, I stopped to watch it.  I listened to the noise it made, the clattering of steel on steel, both eerie and comforting.  I reached for my phone to attempt to take a picture of the last few cars rolling away.  This is what I got though- what you see now (and no, you can't even see the long black train).  I looked at the picture right after, and it conjured up a story of my life.  A story of soft white light. 

My mom was purging a couple months ago, and in doing so, decided to get rid of a lamp she's had my whole life.  She was going to give it to my aunt, but I asked if I could have it for sentimental and practical reasons both, and she let me!  When I brought it to my house, I immediately put it on the bedside table beside my bed.  I had wanted a lamp for years (literally), but had never bought one because of trying to save $.  When I plugged it in, the light that came from it was comforting.  I told my husband I brought some "home" with me when I brought the lamp here.  He didn't know what I meant.  I snapped it off and took a look at the bulb:  60V soft white light.  The bulbs mom uses are soft white light bulbs!  (Sidenote:  For years, I had been trying to figure out what's so different about my parents' home...the ambience there!)  It's the kind of light that has a calming effect, despite the jarring sound of the train rumbling along (and this applies to life, you know?...Light (Jesus)= Peace in the Darkness (World).  I wrote a little one liner for our Christmas card this year:  "As lights flicker on a tree, may The Spirit illuminate us for all the World to see."  I definitely hope my family and I have a "soft white light effect" on those around us, too, this Christmas season and always.

Peter 2:9
"But you are...a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light."

WONDERFUL SOFT WHITE LIGHT.



And finally:
Thanks, mom, for creating a tranquil place for me my whole life.  Thanks for caring about light bulbs.  Thanks for teaching me all about the importance of The One True Light.  These things intertwine so much that I couldn't talk about one without the other.  A world of gratitude for that very truth.

Without Christ, there wouldn't be Christmas...

My daughter asked me recently, "Momma, what's a tree have to do with Christmas anyway?"  Kind of shocked at the question because it seemed to come out of nowhere, I sputtered, "Whaaat?"  She repeated it clearly.  I'd like to say I didn't, but really I sputtered for the second time, and asked, "Are you asking me what a tree has to do with Jesus?"  "Yes" was her quick answer.  As she frequently is, she was contemplative and she needed a real answer.  I call it divine appointment, because I had j-u-s-t come across a paper that explained the connection between a tree and a saviour.  The sorting and purging to get to it took too many hours away from the things I want to do (be with my kids!)  I've said it before and I'll say it again, the simplifying process can be downright complicated and time-consuming!  Maybe all that time was for this one post-it note, though, written by Shawn about 5 years ago.  Here is what the note said (with a few additions by me) and this is what I shared with my introspective daughter:

The tree points upward, pointing us to Jesus, now in his heavenly home, on the throne, and at the right hand of God
The lights signify that Jesus is the light of the world and cannot be hidden (and also the wise men followed a star when they traveled to see Jesus)
The ornaments symbolize the gifts the wise men brought to baby Jesus (gold, frankinsence, and myrh)

The answer appeased her and I hoped against all hopes that what she learned from it was good and true.  I reflected on it later and the truth is I still have my own hesitations.  Hesitations because I know full-well the origin of the Christmas tree.  I choose to view it through the lens of Christianity, but could I be wrong to do so?  Am I teetering?  Internal dialogue.  I pray not.  I truly do.  I am planning to teach the kids a little more about the 3 gifts because spices and oils are a bit abstract, especially for my youngest.  Keep in mind, he doesn't even know why the wise men didn't drive in an Odyssey to see baby Jesus, let alone why they didn't take him something more modern, like spiderman shooter gloves or a kindle fire.  :)  I am excited because the lesson will be super easy, yet meaningful.  I'm equally excited that I'll get to teach the kids more about it through a production our church does every year.  We'll visit "shops in Bethlehem" and talk about such things.  And that is what I'll be attempting to do again this Christmas season....point the kids to the reason for the season, all cliches aside.  Deep down, I just really want my kids to grasp that without Jesus, we wouldn't have Christmas, nor would we have eternal life.  My fervent prayer year after year is...Dear Lord, Help us to love you more, and in turn, serve others this Christmas season.  Help us to stay focused on the true reason we celebrate in a world that begs to differ.  Amen.

PS The kids' choices for serving others this season:  Grace-bake cookies for someone and have a meal for Nonna and Poppa at our house.  Noah John- throw snow in people's faces.  Oy Oy Oy!  I told you it's a work in progress right?

Thanksgiving

Unfortunately this picture of all of us (minus 3 who had left and 3 who couldn't make it) is not the greatest (the sun was b-right!) BUT it is priceless to me because it includes all of my dad's siblings (5 total)!  Rounding this crew up for a family photo is something one could go into therapy over ;)  All jokes aside, it is quite evident that we ALL come by strong-will temperaments honestly.  Growing up, I was especially close to my Aunt Becky.  I owe her a whole lot because she really played a big part in my life when I was growing up through my days as a college student (I lived with her for 2 years in Lexington...GO CATS!)  Here you see 3 generations.  Gran and Daddy Jack would be so proud and as a tribute to them, I share these next pictures.

Daddy Jack (John Cornelius III) LOVED horses.  I read a letter he wrote when he was 8-10 years old and in it, he asked his parents for a horse.  He must have gotten one, because, he passed the equestrian love on to my dad, who, in turn, also loved horses as a boy, teen, young adult (horses on hold for his crazy job), and now again as a retiree :).  Tennessee Walkers, particularly, but any will do.  We are horse people. If you travel HWY 90, you might see dad on horseback (makes me A NERVOUS WRECK!)  This picture is of Jack and me (named after Daddy Jack).  Jack is my close cousin's baby.  Sister-cousin to be exact.  I'm kinda like his aunt:) and as many of you know, I genuinely LOVE being an aunt with my entire heart.

Honestly, Jack never tired of petting Java.  Java was his favorite by far.  When we walked off, the horses followed us the length of the fence, until we stopped.  Then they stopped and baby Jack reached out to pet them time and again.

 

My dad, Joe West, real mountain man and cowboy, with Jackson West.  We are big on family names!

And this last one, just because these boys all carry on the family name in some way (Noah John, John being mine and Shawn's grandfather's real name), Clark Robert (Clark is my sister in law's maiden name, and Robert, after his dad and my brother, who was named after my grandmother's brother), and again, Jackson West (West was my grandmother's maiden name).  I'm kind of a genealogy nut - or a beginning genealogy nut I should say. 

 

Thankful for the best Thanksgiving ever.  My heart is being tugged at (not for the first time) because I know there are people out there who don't have loved ones to celebrate with this time of year.  Praying for them tonight and asking with shaky knees....  Lord, what would you have me (us) to do?

 

 

 

Home

A week ago, I made a last-minute decision to go home to see my momma for the weekend.  Dad was gone deer hunting all weekend and I knew it would be a time, like it was in my growing up years, when mom and I could be together and relax.  I LOVE my daddy...but sometimes it is good for mom  and I to have girl time.  We hadn't gotten to do this since I had my first child 6 years ago!  This weekend- for that reason- was especially special.  I took my youngest with me, but surprised even myself by leaving my girl to stay with her daddy and do fun things like go to Chuck E. Cheese with her cousin in tow.  The drive home was gorgeous...clear and sunny.  The leaves had fallen off the trees at the bottom but higher up on the foothills, they were vivid, inviting colors.  They seemed to almost say, "keep driving..."  Seriously, they were mesmerizing.  As we got to mom's, the afternoon sun was fading into evening but it felt like time paused for a few minutes and the sun stayed put in that clear, cool November sky before dropping down and pushing the day into dusk.  Have you ever had a moment like that?  It was/is super cool to reflect on.  My boy and I walked up the lane toward the house, and after looking in the house and not finding mom, we headed to the barn to see if she was feeding the horses.  Then my boy saw her.  His NONNA.  And that is just what he yelled...he yelled with full happiness in his voice.  His feet couldn't catch up with his happiness fast enough.  It's a sweet thing to see your child in sheer astonishment and joy at the sight of your mom.  Blessed.  So blessed.  Nonna is the best nonna in this entire world.  She has a gift from God.  Seeing her in action right after I had my kids made me appreciate it, because unfortunately, I took it for granted way too often when I was growing up!

Mom was definitely shocked, but in a good way, to see us.  We all hugged happy hugs and I knew I made the right decision!  We had the best weekend just spending time together.  We stayed up late and talked like we used to when I was in high school, then afterward, I slept the best I'd slept in a long time.  The next morning, we went to visit my best friend together and spent hours talking and laughing on this big soft, hugging couch that overlooked a big, peaceful valley.  I felt like both were there for us that day, just for us, just for that day, although I know that sounds so silly. After that, we took Noah to feed the ducks and geese at the lake.  They waddled and quacked right up to him.  He giggled and my heart warmed again. (PICTURE COMING)  Before we left, we took him to see lots of boats, docked for the winter, and sat overlooking the water.  It was cold, but a great day for the three of us to be at the lake. 

The icing on the cake came when I decided to stay an extra day so I could see my dad on his birthday!  He had some inner contemplations about this specific birthday that I won't get into, so I thought what better time to stay!  So the icing...after being gone all weekend (and coming home without a buck, to his dismay), dad asked me to go to church with him.  At first I said, "No, I don't think I will, I'm tired.  Well, I don't know. I am torn, so maaaybe I will..."  He walked off to do something and I said the same to mom.  Then my soul lit-up and I said to myself....  Yes.  Yes you will go.  There is no contemplation.  Your dad asked you to go to church, the very place you prayed he would come back to (and the lifestyle you prayed for), and the culmination of years of praying from mom.  The drive to town was peaceful.  Sitting together in church (uncle behind me) filled my cup to overflowing.  Psalm 23:5 "You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies and my cup runneth over."  And it did.  And it still does.  I drink from my saucer and give God the glory.  After church, dad had a meeting that ended up lasting almost 2.5 hours.  I can honestly say I have never been happier to wait on somebody in my life.  I am so proud of dad.  Sometimes people live a whole lifetime without figuring it out...as dad said to me a year ago..."I am not perfect and I'm going to mess up, and it took me a long, long time, but I think I've got this figured out."  He went on to talk about life and how God and family are the most important things.  The next morning, I woke up and headed down the steps.  I saw dad face-down, kneeling to pray.  I asked if he was okay, and he said yes.  I realized then that he was praying ever so humbly.  A few minutes later, when I went to shower, I overheard he and mom laugh about me asking if he was okay.  Mom laughed out loud, then when dad questioned her, she caught her breath long enough to tell him he could have said he was inspecting the laminate!  Dad laughed and said he could have said he wanted to get a closer look at the area rug.  JOY, jOy, JoY like no other.  Their laughter was full, and it wasn't just because they were making jokes about how he could have answered me.

Love my parents.  Love my foothills.  And I love my Lord though I fail Him daily.  Yet without relationship and recognition of The Lord, my joys wouldn't be as joyful (laughter on the hugging couch with a true overcomer of a best friend) or my peace so poignant (sleep like I needed down in my soul).  And ya know, when I saw that sunset that seemed to stand still the first day I arrived at "home", I wonder, could it have?  Joshua 10:13 "And the sun stood still, and the moon hung...."  Yes.  It could have.  Did it really?  No, probably not, but the fact that I have faith in who hung it there to begin with is enough for me...HOME.

Sun and Rain/Son and Reign

Today has been a beautiful, reigny kinda day.  :)  I really like rain.  It kind of soothes me, soothes my soul, my nerves.  I get to enjoy it so much during this period when I'm raising my kids, from the cozy closeness of a twin-bed as I nestled in with my little one for a catnap earlier.  Not a day goes by I'm not grateful.  Rainy days remind me of who REIGNS...God!  Yesterday was election day.  Of course, I voted.  I mentioned that yesterday.  I'm reminded and I hold to the scripture in Daniel 2:21:  "He controls the course of world events; he removes kings and sets up other kings. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the scholars."  I continue to pray for our country, for all people in this country, and for our president and vice president, and more intimately, for my people in my little world.  My babies and my man.  My brother and his family.  My closies.  Myself.  Because heaven knows, I need to better myself.  Time is marching on, and my kids are growing fast.  Nobody can change me but me (God in me).  And it is high time.  Speaking of....

A friend came over today and needed to talk...a hug...a prayer.  Before she showed up, I was thinking, "Oh nooo!  I am really not filled up today.  I can't possibly offer her anything good because I'm not filled up myself!"  Some very near and dear friends and I have been discussing how important it is to take care of ourselves (spiritually) so we can take care of our families (and in this case, friends).  I hope I was able to impart something good to my girl.  In the end, I cried for her when she left the room, because my heart aches for my loved ones who ache (also because I can relate on some levels)...and I hugged her tight before she left.  I told her I'd pray.  I fed her a grand meal of cheese and crackers as we talked about stuff like kids' dental appointments and the aforementioned presidential election.  We talked about love, lack thereof, disappointments, improvements, parenting, weight, food, and that big thing called hope.  Hope that there are better, happier days ahead for her and the people in her world.  I pushed her to take care of herself, ever so briefly mentioning, how recently I have barely taken care of my  own self...or how messed-up I am as a wife and momma some days.  I've told her before-- I wasn't trying to withhold my true self.  I just knew she needed an ear today rather than a fellow grumbler.  (Not that she was grumbling, and even if she was, rightly so).  I guess what I'm saying is I knew she needed to know that I know that I know that there IS HOPE.  

Anyway, after she left and the rain completely stopped, out came the sun.  And it's one of those sonshiny days when everything outside suddenly looks kissed by warmth.  Even though it's 40 degrees out.  The sun (son) shines, and because of that, the world looks warm now.  And I don't know quite how but I feel a little more filled up. So very glad for the son. 

I wish I had taken this 20 minutes before when nature was glowing, but do you still feel the warmth?

Let your hair down!

Sometimes I just need to let my hair down!!!  Today I have done just that.  My oldest is out of school today for election day (I voted at 7am!)  We invited her new, sweet friend over (they met at kindergarten orientation!!!)  We baked cupcakes, made scratch icing, sprinkled everything to infinity and beyond, the girls made each other up (Grace gave her friend a blue unibrow, as you see! ;)  After our friends left, my kids basically dragged me outside from warmth comfort to cold, chilly, kiddy fun. We bundled up in sweatshirts and jackets and a blanky and climbed on the hay wagon, romped in the field, climbed into the "treehouse" aka top of the swingset, did the zipline a couple times, then finally came in only to have more cupcakes and another tea party (kool-aid)!  Now, it's tv-time while the dishes wait...and the sprinkles on the kitchen floor will sweep up just as easily in an hour than right this minute!!!  I'm declaring a whole day of letting my hair down...complete with pizza for dinner!!!  I should do this more often!!!  :) And the icing on the proverbial cupcake?  I don't have to work tomorrow either, which means if I want to leave the messy fun until tomorrow, I can (and probably will!) 

Best Summer

THIS BLOG WAS WRITTEN IN JUNE AND I THOUGHT I LOST IT.  THIS WILL BE THE FIRST OF 2 DEDICATED TO SUMMER.


What a great 2 months it's been since my last post!  It's not for lack of want that I don't post.  It's lack of time.  I'm either cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, putting up dishes, picking blackberries, pulling weeds, feeding catfish, gathering an egg, watering the dog, feeding and watering the chickens, playing with the kids, going on sweet dates, working pt, or traveling locally lately.  Oh, and the normal "stuff" like cooking, cleaning, and my ongoing organization projects.


In May,  our oldest graduated prek!  This teacher-momma is proud of all she accomplished!  My parents and my brother and his family and Shawn's mom came to graduation.  They stayed after so we could have the annual cousins camp.

This picture is from day1 of cousins camp.  I made them stay still before the pledge so I could get a pic.  I want to point out that Grace said she had on her "scavenger hunting ensemble"...we like Fancy Nancy :) and she learned the word "ensemble" from a Nancy book and what an ensemble she wore!  Here is a picture from the scavenger hunt...along with some photos of my flowers...and my dog.

Isabelle holding a ballerina rose from my rose bush.  Small but dainty flowers!  It was an item on the scavenger hunt!  Great job, Is!

Tiger lilies  make May a little more beautiful every year.  And to whoever dropped them all off for us to plant 6 years ago...THANK YOU.  Every May since, I've been reminded of how kind people can be!  An added plus is the fact that gran had a different variety of tiger lilies and I always admired them, even picking them once, not knowing better.  She accepted them with a look of shock (ah!  you picked my flowers!) tempered by gratefulness (that was so nice of you to do that for me and bring them to me.")

Hallie, our new dog.  She is half Chessie and half German wire-hair.  She is a handful and we are currently training her to an inground fence.  The kids like her and we are glad to have a doggy again! As you can see, she likes swimming in the pond lots!  Here, she is retrieving a tennis ball. 

The boys!  Have I ever expressed how special these two are?  At 7 months apart, miles mean nothing.  They may be little things, but they are already best buddies.  Little boy blessings.

While family was here, we had air mattresses blown up, floors and couches full, people sleeping everywhere, and it was great.  My family is like the family in the book, The Relatives Came.   It's about a family who travels across the mountains to see their country kinfolk.  It's one of our very favorites.

To quote the book, "The relatives weren't particular about beds, which was good since there weren't any extras, so a few squeezed in with us and the rest slept on the floor, some with their arms thrown over the closest person, or some with an arm across one person and a leg across another."  One night, I went to the living room to check on Noah J, and he was completely off his mattress, on the floor, while 3 others slept around him soundly, including "Uncle Robert" just a foot away on the couch.  The next day, we trekked to amish country (about 40 mins from my house) and ate under a big shade tree...where the boys peed publically before we left!  It was a memory-maker. 

Moving on, so much to share.  This is a picture of us preparing to go kayaking on day 4 of cousins camp.

A couple weeks later, we celebrated my youngest's birthday.  It was a blessed time, and I mean that literally.  It was one of the best parties we've thrown for the kids and somehow, oddly enough, the most relaxing and laid back.  I made the cake with a friend and if you know me well, you know this was a labor of love (not talented or patient enough by myself...it took 9 hours!)

Moving on...
After wonderboy's bday, our church had vacation bible school.  I taught the 5 year old class (Grace's class).  It was by far the best VBC I have ever been part of!  It's a memory we will remember forever, and my girl learned SO MUCH through the lessons, and songs.  After that, the kids headed to the hills for a few days with my folks.  They spent time with their cousins every single day all day.  They romped in the creek, fed the horses, went swimming, jumped on the jumpoline (trampoline :), and at night, plopped in the hot tub, then watched old cartoons.  While they were gone, my hubby and I had a wonderful, relaxing time.  When they returned, our sweet boy had a stomach virus and we somehow managed to lose his blanky the same day!  The next day, Grace and Shawn went to Holiday World w/ friends while I stayed back with Noah.  It was good daddy/daughter time, and I'm still hearing stories about it, like, "OH, and mommy! Daddy put me on his shoulders...and he carried me out of the park that way!"  That is the man I married.  I am so moved at how he plays with the kids and likes to make them smile. I would never give a shoulder ride!  Makes me nervous just thinking of it!  That's why we're good together.  The kids need the balance!

A few days ago, I took the kids  to Chattanooga.  We met up with my very close cousin and her baby Jack.  We had a great time and I'd say we'll make it an annual trip since it's about the halfway point for us.

One of the last double stroller rides for the kiddos!  :)  :(


I'm going to close now, because this is a long post.  The short of it is...best summer ever....