Peace and Gratitude

A breakthrough is occurring!  The repeating theme in my life lately is...PEACE is not achieved through perfection.  PEACE is a state of mind.  I'm a slow learner but I have a husband who loves me and whose bear hugs speak more than words.  He is glad I'm getting there, too.  I know it isn't easy for him.  So now, as I type, the house is upside down and the kids are locked in on a cartoon.  I type and I let go.  Let go and let God.  I reach my hand out, uncoil my fist, and let go.  Freedom.

This time of the year, farming typically slows down.  Typically.  Due to various farm obstacles, including a blowup with a railroad company (they accidentally  sprayed our cash crop) and a broken combine that has been pushed 15 years past its prime.  Then there is the menial, daily farm challenges like tire blow-outs at just the wrong time and too much rain over this crop, etc.  My hubby relates to my daughter through the brokenness, though.  "I put a combine back together today just like YOU put your lego set together."  She beams.  I stand amazed at how naturally they communicate.  He throws ibuprofen back and grills dinner for us.  We're all tired.  This is month 7 of the 70 hour weeks.  I long for December, January, and February.  We tuck in and it just feels different in heart and home then.  I'm so thankful for such a strong man - whose absence is missed as soon as he walks out each morning.  The kids want their daddy all day while he's gone.  He's the more laid-back of the two of us.  In my inner circling around what PEACE is, I've eased up a lot on routines.  Daddy has had to enforce more, which has pushed his patience a wee bit (and I smile but not mockingly).  I am so very blessed to have that kind of man, who works when he rests too, though.  I pray for continued balance for our family, and have finally zeroed in on a major issue that has caused us to lose some peace and piece of mind.  As I reach upward and the sun blinds me with warmth and purity, I see all that for which I'm grateful.  It's impossible to gain peace without seeing all the blessings poured over me.

Grateful for... 

I'm grateful for true friends and family.  I'm grateful for those who take the time and make the time.  I'm grateful for antibiotics.  Little boy had a bad case of strep.  I'm grateful for a mom and dad who give wise advice.  I'm grateful for being a stay at home mom the last 7 years.  It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.  I'm grateful for having a teaching certificate.  My calling is there, too.  I'm grateful for a truly funny little boy who is going through a Peter Pan phase that is downright precious.  I'm grateful for a daughter who reads chapter books, and who buckled her baby doll in a stroller this morning for a morning walk.  I'm grateful for my mother-in-law.  I'm thankful for bright orange pumpkins and bumpy gooseneck gourds.  I'm thankful for crimson leaves.  I'm thankful for swing sets and our energetic black dog.  (Can't think of one without the other- she nearly terrorizes the kids each time they go out to swing!  ha)  I'm thankful for learning toys.  They make this teacher-mom so happy.  I'm thankful for DVR because the commercials are not fit for kids these days.  I'm thankful for having a washing machine and dryer.  They were needed a lot when little guy had strep.  I'm thankful for the ability to see Old Glory flying from the kids' playhouse this morning.  The wind whips her gently.  I'm thankful that despite all my shortcomings, God is still working on me to show me what peace is and what it isn't. 

So True!

I hope I never forget!

I have office work to complete at home today and the length of my post is proof...but do (please do) take a few minutes to indulge in this post.  By the way, don't let the Coco Chanel title dissuade you (It nearly dissuaded me).  I may never own Coco Chanel but I harbor an inner love of luxury.  For further clarification, when I say luxury, I DON'T mean wealth!  Here's to you!

New Day Dawning

 

 

 

I went for a short run this morning and when I pulled in the driveway, this is what I saw.  All I have been thinking of since is this song that we hear at the beach.  "There's a New Day Dawning"  We attend church service at the beach down on the gulf when we're there.  Years lapse and they sing the same song when we return.  "There's a New Day Dawning"  This past year, it rained and rained during the service.  The kids' service was held in the back of a small trailer on wheels.  We ducked as we stepped in to talk to the preacher's wife.  She was cleaning up from the service (I'll admit we sat in the van for most of the service and really couldn't hear much of anything). We met her years ago when G was 3.  She told G as we stepped in out of the wetness, "You're special.  God is going to do great things with your life."  I laughed as I talked to her about our first experience at the beach service.  G threw a terrible tantrum, screamed "I WANNA THEE JETHUTH" (I wanna see Jesus) as we tore her away from the service and forced her into the car.  Before we got that far though, G flipped a rubber band and it hit said pastor's wife right square in the eye.  It hurt.  I could tell.  She acted kind of aggravated.  When I told her of our memory of the service...she didn't say she did or did NOT recall it...she just said what I mentioned above..."God is going to do great things with your life."  I wonder if she realized this before or after the rubber band episode.  No matter.  She spoke the truth.  This momma knows it!  

Falling

Fall runs at us with open arms.  It's warm once we embrace, but cold at first as it blows by us, through us, over us, around us.  It's beautifully colorful.  The leaves crack, crunch, split apart beneath our feet.  Alarm clocks ring, schools bells ding, church bells sing.  Children rush, teachers hush, parents push.  Bright white papers fill up line by line by line.  Brains fill up hour by hour.  New concepts are taught, many in the books, but most, after the book closes.  And we pray.  We pray.  We see prayers answered.  We wrestle with, grapple with, laugh with, hug on each other.  People scurry and hurry.  We try to grab them but they're a mist.  People linger longer.  We pause for them but maybe not long enough.  We plan and plan a span of time.  We think we can.  Fall pulls us in, offers us warm light to warm our hearts.  We bask in the faint glow, we wrap up in it.  And we fall.  We fall for it.  All of it.  And it's a whirlwind.  And we love it.  And it's a lullaby.  And dusky peaceful quietness falls as we fall to our knees.

Faith

Grace accepted Jesus!  She is getting baptized Sunday.  When the pastor asked her what she knew about Jesus, she said, "Well...I know a lot.  He never lies."  She said something else but I can't remember what exactly!  She also answered him that yes, Jesus died to wash away our sins.  She studied the pastor's face as he asked her questions (I was sitting beside him and I could see her face).  When she paused to answer, he began to prompt her a bit.  I knew she didn't know which part to share :) because I know my girl.  For a second, I think he wasn't sure if she understood (I've seen this before when other adults have asked her a deep question ...she thinks long and hard because she is a deep thinker!)...then as they talked, he quickly saw she was more than ready.  She actually began talking to me about becoming a Christian WELL over a year ago, and at Upward Cheerleading one night, during a devotional, she gave her little heart to our savior!  I waited until now to let her move forward (not that I held her back; I just waited until she came back to me).  The following Sunday (8/26), she went up front in front of the congregation.  Dr. J asked her to step up the steps so everyone could see her.  He went on to recount how she said she knew a lot about Jesus and how he came to visit us one time and we made Grace go to bed while he was visiting and he felt so sorry for her.  HAHA!!!  Mean ole' mommy and daddy.  I am so proud of our girl.  She is growing into a beautiful person!  I know God heard my prayers as I knelt at the altar last Sunday; I see them being answered now at the tender age she is.  She said several times...today is one of the best days of my life.  She was so genuinely joyful.  Something that only Christ can do lit her up.  Faith like a child!

Happy to say...

Happy to say I have no pictures yet again, no wise or witty words to type either.  We have, however, had a summer full to the brim with life, love, family near and far, friends, church, carnival rides, lake and pool time, fish fry dinner, park w/ cousins, park w/ poppa, park w/ nonna, grilled yumminess, movies (Monsters U most recently), card games (nieces, poppa Grace, and I got hooked on Spoons recently), bingo (sight word bingo ;) teacher-momma), dinners out w/ friends, and the best part of all...two vbs's which means more time in the Lord's House...one of my fave things about summer!!!  I have seen more extended family and friends who live away than I have in years!  Even my cousin from GA ended up coming over for a quick overnight stay while I was at my parents!  Sometimes things work out best when they're impromptu!  My goal was to be off the computer more this summer and I've succeeded here.  Now FB is next to go!  I'm embarking on a weight loss journey yet again, and Lord knows, that will take all my mental capacity bc in the south, food=happiness and food=all anyone talks about (myself included).  Over 2 years I've gained 15 lbs by eating everything I wanted, basically!  YUCK!  I'm so over obsessing about food in general, and even moreso, hearing it being obsessed over!  So here's to a good balance.  Again. :)  Signing off and soon, off fb.  Have a few pics to develop first though.  Have a great summer.  The rest of the summer, we plan to attend a fireworks show (tonight actually), go to the drive-in, and I will be in the office a lot to prepare for a big August event!  Grace will start her lemonade stand this Wednesday at the market, too, and that's come to be something she LOVES about summertime!  I know this is choppy and all- sorry!  Happy summers all around.

Summer

This is where my true followers come out.  You know, my 2-3 family members/friends who care more about how I'm doing in my life than 'what' I'm doing!  I have no camera and the iPhone is dead.  Here goes...little girl finished her 1st year of public schooling.  I cried very briefly and sailed on through the last day.  It helped that I was at the school doing odds and ends for PTA the last 2 weeks.  Even still, it seems unreal how fast day 1 and day 180 met each other.  What a year it was- a good one but an intense one.  No matter how many times I say it was better than my wildest hopes and prayers...and we had an amazing teacher who loved, prayed for, laughed with, cried with, constantly encouraged and pushed and cheered...it doesn't change the fact that it was tiring at the end of the day, week, month, year.  I'm a little overwhelmed right now - just thinkin' of ... how many years will we be on a school schedule now?  I liked it but I didn't like it.  I'm conflicted, folks!  For this and obvious reasons, I pray:  Dear Lord, I earnestly ask that summer move at a snail's pace.  That would give me time to get level about things.  As if to make the transition complete, our girl lost her first tooth on her first day of summer break.  And oh!  Did I mention little big boy is about to have a bday?  Tomorrow is his prek party and soon after, we're inviting 4 little boys and having us a good time bouncing and eating pizza.  Small = good.  He deserves such a happy day.  He has been a champ about going with me to my pt job and to volunteer at school this year.  It is most certainly his turn!  I'm teaching his VBS class this year to even the score.  He may get more of momma than he wants but here I come, buddy!  I caught a turtle yesterday and he was mesmerized.  I've been watching him with one of our baby kittens (yes, we have more) and my fave visual is seeing him pedal on his bike with the cutest kitten under his right arm.  He gave in ("ohhh, okayyyy") and let his sister choose the "one" we plan to keep.  It wasn't the one he favored, but he was a sport about it.  As much as I've sneezed in my life over cats, one would surmise my husband is trying to torture me the last couple months.  I've bottle-fed kittens more times lately than I ever planned to.

Alas, my flowers grew beautifully this spring.  I have no pictures to show, but I wish I did.  Currently I have ballerina roses (probably 50-75 blooms) out back and gorgeous knockout roses (5 bushes) as well.  They are such vivid (a new word I'm teaching little guy) colors:  a bright fuschia, and a pink that's nearly a sedative.  That's to say it's a nice, smooth, calming color.  I'm partial to the ballerina roses - the bush looks like an heirloom and kind of like it was growing wild here for a hundred years.  It's not quite as neat as my knockouts and I like the reminder that true beauty is often a mess.  My irises - I bragged on them last post - are gone now.  I was happy for their timing as they welcomed mom and dad during their stay recently.  They were covered with more blooms than any year before.  I thought of gran each time a new bloom opened and enjoyed talking with dad about gran's irises in her yard on Hickory Nut Hill.  I'm a southerner to the bone when it comes to greeting company, family, traditions, and flowers.  While mom and dad were here, dad picked some irises from the other side of the farm for mom and me.  They were bi-colored mauve and burgundy.  We put them in a vase on the table and oohed and aahed over them.  It's the simple things that can sometimes mean the most.  Again- no photos.  My camera broke and between paying private school prek tuition and ordering some new stuff for the kids' playset etc, the camera is gonna have to wait.  Funny how I've enjoyed the break from being behind the lens.  Sometimes talking about and taking pics of life flat out wears me out.

I'm anticipating the arrival of my moon flower (my FAVORITE, I know I've mentioned it!) and my day lilies.  For the first time in about 9 years, I don't have hanging baskets smothering my porch.  I have a citronella plant by the side door and it's become my new favorite repellant.  Go get one if you're not a bug spray lover, fam.  It works.  The smell is pungent- which is why it works!  Forget those candles and sprays...buy a plant to do the trick.  As for the front porch though...I guess I'll deck it out w/ flowers for my guests coming this weekend, but I foresee pots not hanging baskets.  The kids can easily help water those, and I like to put the kids to work when I can.  Nothing else is blooming out front at all, except for the small efforts on my tulip tree.  I am so glad my mother-in-law has greenhouses.  She's almost sold out, but she will have enough left to fill a couple of pots for my front porch steps.  Speaking of, I better go plant my sunflower seeds, or I should probably wait on the kiddos to wake from their naps.  A shower maybe...yeah.  Or maybe not.  We may work in the bees tonight.  I need to buy some scent-free soaps.  Little big boy is up now (he does not like to be called little) so this laptop is getting shut off.  The phone is dead and has been since yesterday.  I'll be honest...I hope to steer clear of most all distractions this summer in hopes that we'll be refreshed in August.