Summer

This is where my true followers come out.  You know, my 2-3 family members/friends who care more about how I'm doing in my life than 'what' I'm doing!  I have no camera and the iPhone is dead.  Here goes...little girl finished her 1st year of public schooling.  I cried very briefly and sailed on through the last day.  It helped that I was at the school doing odds and ends for PTA the last 2 weeks.  Even still, it seems unreal how fast day 1 and day 180 met each other.  What a year it was- a good one but an intense one.  No matter how many times I say it was better than my wildest hopes and prayers...and we had an amazing teacher who loved, prayed for, laughed with, cried with, constantly encouraged and pushed and cheered...it doesn't change the fact that it was tiring at the end of the day, week, month, year.  I'm a little overwhelmed right now - just thinkin' of ... how many years will we be on a school schedule now?  I liked it but I didn't like it.  I'm conflicted, folks!  For this and obvious reasons, I pray:  Dear Lord, I earnestly ask that summer move at a snail's pace.  That would give me time to get level about things.  As if to make the transition complete, our girl lost her first tooth on her first day of summer break.  And oh!  Did I mention little big boy is about to have a bday?  Tomorrow is his prek party and soon after, we're inviting 4 little boys and having us a good time bouncing and eating pizza.  Small = good.  He deserves such a happy day.  He has been a champ about going with me to my pt job and to volunteer at school this year.  It is most certainly his turn!  I'm teaching his VBS class this year to even the score.  He may get more of momma than he wants but here I come, buddy!  I caught a turtle yesterday and he was mesmerized.  I've been watching him with one of our baby kittens (yes, we have more) and my fave visual is seeing him pedal on his bike with the cutest kitten under his right arm.  He gave in ("ohhh, okayyyy") and let his sister choose the "one" we plan to keep.  It wasn't the one he favored, but he was a sport about it.  As much as I've sneezed in my life over cats, one would surmise my husband is trying to torture me the last couple months.  I've bottle-fed kittens more times lately than I ever planned to.

Alas, my flowers grew beautifully this spring.  I have no pictures to show, but I wish I did.  Currently I have ballerina roses (probably 50-75 blooms) out back and gorgeous knockout roses (5 bushes) as well.  They are such vivid (a new word I'm teaching little guy) colors:  a bright fuschia, and a pink that's nearly a sedative.  That's to say it's a nice, smooth, calming color.  I'm partial to the ballerina roses - the bush looks like an heirloom and kind of like it was growing wild here for a hundred years.  It's not quite as neat as my knockouts and I like the reminder that true beauty is often a mess.  My irises - I bragged on them last post - are gone now.  I was happy for their timing as they welcomed mom and dad during their stay recently.  They were covered with more blooms than any year before.  I thought of gran each time a new bloom opened and enjoyed talking with dad about gran's irises in her yard on Hickory Nut Hill.  I'm a southerner to the bone when it comes to greeting company, family, traditions, and flowers.  While mom and dad were here, dad picked some irises from the other side of the farm for mom and me.  They were bi-colored mauve and burgundy.  We put them in a vase on the table and oohed and aahed over them.  It's the simple things that can sometimes mean the most.  Again- no photos.  My camera broke and between paying private school prek tuition and ordering some new stuff for the kids' playset etc, the camera is gonna have to wait.  Funny how I've enjoyed the break from being behind the lens.  Sometimes talking about and taking pics of life flat out wears me out.

I'm anticipating the arrival of my moon flower (my FAVORITE, I know I've mentioned it!) and my day lilies.  For the first time in about 9 years, I don't have hanging baskets smothering my porch.  I have a citronella plant by the side door and it's become my new favorite repellant.  Go get one if you're not a bug spray lover, fam.  It works.  The smell is pungent- which is why it works!  Forget those candles and sprays...buy a plant to do the trick.  As for the front porch though...I guess I'll deck it out w/ flowers for my guests coming this weekend, but I foresee pots not hanging baskets.  The kids can easily help water those, and I like to put the kids to work when I can.  Nothing else is blooming out front at all, except for the small efforts on my tulip tree.  I am so glad my mother-in-law has greenhouses.  She's almost sold out, but she will have enough left to fill a couple of pots for my front porch steps.  Speaking of, I better go plant my sunflower seeds, or I should probably wait on the kiddos to wake from their naps.  A shower maybe...yeah.  Or maybe not.  We may work in the bees tonight.  I need to buy some scent-free soaps.  Little big boy is up now (he does not like to be called little) so this laptop is getting shut off.  The phone is dead and has been since yesterday.  I'll be honest...I hope to steer clear of most all distractions this summer in hopes that we'll be refreshed in August.

Maaaaay

When I verbally say the month we're finally in, I can't help but say it as I exhale...because this past winter turned into spring then back into winter 2-3 times before spring finally STUCK here.  But now it's Maaaaay and in the south, that means, no freakish turning of the temps now.  (Right?!)  Also, praise God, we got through the spring season with only 1 or 2 major storms.  Equally noteworthy is the fact that I slept through both of them, and woke up in the wee hours to find texts from friends checking on me because  a) they know that, historically, I freak in storms and b) the threats were for my specific little community.  It meant a lot to me that friends checked on me!  It means they love me!  hehe  

After those April showers came my flowers...first my tulips and now my irises!  I can smell them from my side porch and the scent lifts my mood instantly.  You can't tell in the picture but the bloom is huge.  It's bigger than my hand.  I think it's a mutant.  haha No really, it did mutate.  I had planted purple irises and white irises side by side.  They mixed and now they're not only a very pale lavender color, but they're also bigger.  They make me so happy!  The added perk to their blooming now is the fact that I have company coming to visit tomorrow and they will be welcomed by them too.  Yay for Southern hospitality in the way of a God-sent flower.

Maaaaaay

What She Said....

I came across a couple articles I really liked recently.  One is too in-depth to mention now, but maybe later I'll go there.  The other is more concise, but in-depth in truth, and I would like to share it now, partly so I don't lose it.  A few days ago, I blogged about television and how my husband and I boycotted a show.  I said, "Does this seem extreme?  Good."  I shirked off thoughts of others judging my radicalism and threw on the armour of God.  The fear of judgements pinged off me, thankfully and not suprisingly, once I had it on.  Then today I read this, and among many things it said, I really wrapped my mind around this....read it all if you can but know that the third gray block echoes my heart.  Yes, yes, what she said....

Finally and Flowers

Little boy and I played outside for hours this morning!  Now, I know it isn't technically the first time we have done so since spring arrived, but in this part of the world, spring temps are here one day, and the next it's cold and dreary.  It seems like our seasons go...winter, spring, winter, spring, winter, spring, summer, fall, repeat.  My hubby can attest to that.  He's been up in the middle of the night this winter-spring, turning irrigation on the strawberries to keep them from freezing.  Frost after March 1st is tough on farmers who grow strawberries.  I'm getting off track.  So, today after little boy slept in, we headed outside with some sidewalk chalk and a ball.  The sun came out, and we darted in and out of the shade as we played ball, raced each other, etc.  My daughter never wanted to race as much as my boy.  I guess the competitive spirit is engrained, or at least in my two.  I even got the kitties out and let them play in the grass.  Little things are not doing so swell, I'm afraid.  One has trouble walking and the other can only go maybe 7 steps without his back right leg failing him.  I'm beginning to wonder if we are in for a trip to see the aunt-vet, if you know what I mean.  We have been bottle-feeding them now for 10 days.  I hope they make it but it seems maybe they're not doing as well today as previous days.

After playing outside, we grabbed lunch and sat in rocking chairs across from one another on the front porch.  Days like this, I wouldn't trade our humble abode for any place in the world.  BBQ chicken, pineapple slices, mandarin oranges for the boy, and bbq chicken and potato salad for me.  We use a great recipe from www.kyproud.com (spicy red potato salad).  It is really good, so if you're looking for a summer side dish recipe, you might want to take a gander.   

After lunch, we came in and read a bible story and 2 books.  NJ likes to read a lot which is always a good thing!  Afterward, I rocked him and we sang and talked quietly.  I can't believe he'll be 4 soon!  I've said it many times, and I'll say it again.  I savor my time with him and am thankful every day that I've been able to be home (primarily) with both kids.  Last year had its tough spots because I felt like I was either at work or preparing to go to work.  It's crazy how a little 2 day a week job can consume a mom.  It's because of my OCD tendencies.  Add to that the fact that little boy was adjusting to being on a prek schedule!  We are so happy that summer break is almost here, however, the truth is, we will be just as busy, if not moreso.  We HOP around this farm in the summer...veggies to be picked daily and the hubby's family gets 'em started early ;)  Plus, if we want to see daddy much, we have to catch him at a market or in the field (literally).  I am so thankful for a hardworking man, even though being  a farm wife has been hard for me at times!  I'm sure I'll be posting pics of my flowers and the strawberries soon!!!  They are my farmer's favorite fruit/veggie because they grow throughout the cold months and their arrival kicks off summer!  As for flowers, gran's irises are budding but have a weird rotten spot near the roots which has caused some of the blades to die.  The rotten spots are wet and mushy.  I really hope they don't have something that kills them off; I dug them up from gran's front yard years ago.  I have plants of hers all over here...ivy (yes I love it), irises, and tulips (although bought at Lowe's).  Speaking of transplanting the irises reminds me, the daylilies Shawn and I transplanted are growing tall and green!  The rose bushes look ok, good really, but I never know what they will do until they have done it.  I'm new at growing roses.  Hubby finished landscaping around the knockouts and it looks great...hope they bloom!  My camera is still broken but my iPhone camera is now working again so be on the lookout for flower pics eventually!

Shine On Father

What a beautiful, sunny day.  We enjoyed the sunshine and the warm temps - we were blessed enough to have a friend over to join in on the fun.  We flew kites, played a long time on the swing set, bottle fed our two baby kitties (Hank and Bobby), ran around the yard, and more!

Sun affects my disposition!  YAY SUNNINESS:)

I also have had two big blessings yesterday evening and one today!  Yesterday evening- hubby was able to stop work in time for chapel service.  We enjoyed 30 minutes of us time (running errands) after dropping big and little (our terms of endearment for our kiddos), then we slipped in the back of chapel and sat down.  The sermon was on point and about our church and how the church needs to meet needs of those in the community!  My hubby and I have been bothered lately about how "me" focused we have become about church and how we are a small picture of a greater truth within the church body (or people in general).  What will "we" get out of church?  What does the church have going on that "we" would like to do or that "we" think will benefit the kids?  Is the time at a time that inconveniences us or will "we" be put out because of the timing of this or that?  Do "we" agree with everything, and on, and on.  We see that our church represents a teeny tiny percentage of the population in our little town...making the doors too narrow for newcomers to feel welcome!  And that is NOT what any of us want!  Hubby stayed after and talked to the pastor about this and other related things...a door of oppourtunity that opened and we didn't even plan for it.  Our hearts are ready.  Our hands are ready.  We hope and pray for a change!  Starting with US!  (& now I'm nervous at what this may mean but really, church is a place to learn and grow and love and SERVE not get and take and be served!)

And today...after my post about satan being tricky and appealing so that he gains more ground "under the radar"...my hubby cut off several of our TV channels.  The blessing though?  He hadn't even read my post and he didn't know how burdened I've been lately about tv!  That, my friends, is God at work, convicting hubby and wife, who are trying to stay true to The Lord in a world that says, "NAH!  It's all ok."  Thankful for God's devotion to us - I'm seeing rays of sun as I type.  They streak across my keyboard and fall across my hands.  Thank you Father for shining on.  You're worth every worldly sacrifice!

Psalm 84:10 "Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere."

Numbers 6:25 "May the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you."  Or another translation...."May the Lord smile upon you...."

*emphasis mine

Truth

Update on puzzle...It wasn't that day, but the next day, the boy and I did that puzzle (twice)!  My iPhone has been cooky and wouldn't take pics that day though, so you'll just have to take my word!  :)  The puzzle was a 24 piece puzzle of Mater and Lightning McQueen.  I don't even know if he has seen that movie (maybe?) but he likes the characters so much nonetheless.  I'm not big on tv and here is one reason why...just yesterday we were watching Cupcake Wars (my daughter is going to be a baker, I'm pretty sure), and someone on there kept taking God's name in vain, which we teach the kids is clearly wrong.  My littlest asked why the lady kept saying "God".  (Deut 5:11 You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God....)  Suffice it to say, that's the first Cupcake Wars episode we've seen in at least 6 months, and probably the last.  Seem extreme?  Good!  Every time I try to be moderate with tv, I learn it really isn't possible!  Thank goodness Looney Tunes and Tom and Jerry still air!!!  Please tell me there is a wholesome baking show on tv though!?  My daughter doesn't really care to watch tv, but turn on Cake Boss, and she is a student at culinary school.  She has been making cakes since she was 2 years old (out of legos then).  Back to my point:  TV is so beyond-infuriating to me!  There's the language issue...not to mention the horrible sexual "crap" on tv!  I mean...really?  I don't want my two young kids tainted at this age (or ever).  It is highly inappropriate and it is not usually obnoxious.  Whether you're liberal, conservative, whatever...if you are a human being, take heed.  Personally, my very favorite show is a horrible conglomoration of sin disquised by comedy so after a year or more of viewing, I'm DONE with it!  The devil is not always ugly and scary, people.  If so, we would all run away!  But no, satan wants us to be lured to him, not scared away from him.  He wears sheep's clothing!  On a sidenote, God started convicting my hubby about the same show too, so now our once-fave-show is no more.  We don't need trash dumped on us when we're trying to relax and cuddle together!!!  The devil is such a sneaky 'trash thrower'....

The Devil in Sheep's Clothing
"If the devil comes to my door with his horns visible,
I will never let him in; but if he comes with his hat on
as a respectable gentleman, he is at once admitted.
The metaphor may be very strange, but it is quite true--
many a man has taken in an evil thing, because it has been
varnished and glossed over, and not apparently an evil; and he
has thought in his heart, there is not much harm in it; so he has
let in the little thing, and it has been like the breaking forth
of water- the first drop has brought after it a torrent.
The beginning has been but the beginning of a fearful end."

--Spurgeon

And then a scripture that comes to me a lot because my mom quoted it to me when I was going through a tough time a few years ago...

Be alert and of sober mind.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 
1 Peter 5:8

de·vour

/diˈvou(ə)r/

Verb Eat (food or prey) hungrily or quickly. (of fire, disease, or other forces) Consume (someone or something) destructively.

Synonyms swallow - gobble - consume - eat up - engulf - gorge Lions prowl QUIETLY. They are smooth and by all standards, kings in the animal world.  They aren't vicious and destructive until the point of attack.  Do NOT be fooled.  The connection between a lion and a sheep is insane!!!  Satan (who is actually more like a lion!) looks like a sheep!  All of us need to wake UP before we get eaten alive, quite literally.  Our shepherd is Jesus.  He will protect us, comfort us, save us!  Don't be mislead by one who looks like the rest!  Be set apart and different! "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2 Choose LIFE friends.  Don't look down a path and be so blinded that you willingly choose to be devoured (see definition again).  We have a choice set before us!  This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. Deuteromy 30:19 I'm so burdened lately, and the issues don't fall under any political ties.  So much so that I should have prefaced this post with warnings like, "Intense"  & "Brutally honest" & "Passionate Post"....  These issues fall under matters of the heart.  Jesus is GOOD.  He loves.  He chastises because He loves.  He blesses and GIVES because HE LOVES!  He gives.... You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.  Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.  This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:9-12 He is The Truth.  He welcomes all into His arms, yet we are so haughty and ignorant, even and often especially when we are versed by the world.  We talk and text and post and update... and for what? Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall. Proverbs 16:18 I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit. Ecclesiastes 1:14 We say if we don't accept sin then we judge that sin but that is contrary to the word!!!  For example, I can say Doritos aren't junk food all day long, but they are!  THEY ARE TASTY, DELICIOUS, CRUNCHY, yet JUNKY!  I can KNOW they are tasty yet junky in one.  I can know sin is enticing yet junky at once too.  Jesus ate dinner with the prostitutes and the tax collectors and it didn't change the fact that their sin was slimy, nor did it change HIS LOVE for them.  He loved them before, during, now....just.like.He.loves.us.always. Scales, fall off eyes, start with mine.  Father, give me your full armor because I need it badly!  And thank you for loving sinful, weak ME. Eph 6:10-17 (NIV) ...Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled round your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. I'm claiming a standing victory.  Pray for me.  And for you.  We're all in this together.  I know this post has lost heat by now, and I'm pittering and sputtering out as I type but God knows what work needs to be done now, inside me, and outside me.  It is time to stop typing and start doing.  What a horrible spiritual battle that has already ensued.  But it is going to be better than okay because I know how it ends!

   

Waves

I wish I knew how to add music to my blog!  Cue the sound of waves crashing on the sand.

Yesterday I was home with my boy like I am most days of the week.  He asked me to watch him put a puzzle together.  I stood at the sink, hands dipped in sudsy water, and told him, "let me just wash this first..."  Minutes later, the puzzle pieces lay scattered on the hardwood floor, but he was off in his room, playing alone quietly.  Why do I do that?  Why do I not run to him when he says, "Will you play with me?"  Why do I choose washing dishes?  I wish I had the answer.  As I washed, I regretted it, but that pot just had to be scrubbed, rinsed, and dried....  I walked across the carpet to the couch.  It still seems new, but it's been here 2 years, kind of like my boy not being a baby anymore.  He's right at 4 now.  I sat down on the couch and listened to him, playing just down the hall.  Minutes passed and still I listened.  I thought about how I should go join him.  I should run to him.  The imaginative play, taking place, is part of his growing up process, and he's growing so fast.  Yet I sat and continued to listen.  Probably 10 minutes passed, maybe more.  The puzzle pieces stayed on the floor, he stayed in his room, and I sat, listening.

I have no idea why but it made me think of the ocean, particularly waves.  How they come from way far out with a force and a jarring coolness on my skin.  Then they are pulled back out, the sound becomes a lull, until again, they crash and foam.  And it goes on ... perpetually.  And I move a distance from them, watching the inevitable crashes, not taking my eyes off of them.  They're so captivating and make me so curious and calm at once.  They're intense and loud.  I brace myself when they slap up onto my legs, knees, body.  I look around and see as much of the ocean as my eyes can see and find myself looking farther out to sea, beyond the loud crashes and consistent lulls.  And I love, love, love it.  I can't wait for the next wave to come.  That's why I'm here, to enjoy this rush, this feeling, the beauty, and the grit, too.  It's overwhelming and exhilarating.  It's not containable.

Parenting is like that.  The kids, like waves.  The moments that I can't take my eyes off of, yet sometimes I don't make myself become involved in.  And I pray that I focus out at my "ocean" more often because the big picture is actually very simple.

God has a plan.  It involves my family (husband, kids).  It is everchanging and it changes fast.

I can't capture a wave, just like I can't capture my little ones' zeal and energy today.  So, I want to do more than sit quietly and listen, because unlike the ocean's perpetual crashing and pulling back, my little family does not stay in the same place.  Just yesterday, my kids were babies.  Just yesterday.  Today, we will do that puzzle.  Picture later.