Two months

Gonna jump right into the last 2 months.

Disney, round 2, with my parents and our close friends and their kiddos was a success!  My mom flew for the first time - and liked it!  Told dad he may not be able to keep her home now.  Down to FL in 1.5 hr.  Su-WEET!    MK twice, AK once, HS once, and then date day at Epcot w/ the farmer dude.  Pool time.  Adjoining room w/ parents.  I could be colonial - my love for all of us being under the same roof is desperate and peaceful when we are.  Zip back to KY ... bam!  Halloween.  Trunk or Treat at country church next door for prek kiddo and the dadster.  Party time for the nephew and big girl.  Fall.  Crunchy leaves.  Lots of discussion from the kids about the color- fun time w/ a prek kid especially- soaking up all the colors and learning new words like "crimson" or "scarlet."  Acknowledging 'vivid' colors (another new word) peeked it's precious head again as we crested a knoll and he gasped ... "momma, look at God's beautiful sunset...it's bright pink and purple."  I pause, search for the beauty as he sees the beauty.  I don't see it quite the same, with that prek wonder and awe, BUT I pause and I force my way into it.  It was gorg.  Once I realize he has it, I stop pushing it.  Reminder:  don't ever stop pushing the colors.  Then it's all just a blur.  For real. 

Thanksgiving was spent with family.  So much love.  Cousins.  Kids.  Playing.  Chasing.  Laughter.  A round table.  Wives.  Mommas.  Food.  Homemade food.  Food made just for that day.  How blessed are we.  Dad and two of his brothers chatted on the couch.  The little boys squeezed in between them.  How blessed is that.  A heritage.  Tilted chins.  Breathless, rosy cheeked boys gleaning already...as they look up and listen then run in circles but always watch, listen.  This was the first year in nearly 10 that the children were all old enough to scatter and play while the adults circled in for conversation.   No hushing or rushing.  At 8 pm, our youngest fell asleep in the mv on the way home (nonna and poppa's).

Teaching full-time.  One month to the day.  And I'm wide-eyed but in a sleep disorder kinda way.  Granted, I was whipped as a sahm too.  And actually, this teaching full-time gig is definitely easier than being home full-time BUT I do miss being home more.  I miss my life revolving around meals, cleaning, working out, volunteering, playing, and crafts.  I'm conflicted and I'll figure it out in due time.  One step of faith at a time.  Tonight, I'm just focusing on getting tomorrow under my belt.  I take this job one day at a time.  Yes it is that challenging.  Middle school.  Because I can't share specifics, and I'm way too blunt to beat around the bush delicately, I'll stop right here.

December has been stacked with more teaching, prek party, beautiful snow days, sledding, LOTS of movies and cookies, egg nog, homemade fudge, snack foods, some caloric regret, lack of exercise, and 15 lbs of weight gain (ok, that started before December :/)  Oh!  And my mom was here for 5 days.  Have I ever mentioned how much of a blessing she is in our lives?  She is solid and stable and I pray I will one day be like her!!!  She fixed hot cocoa for us when we were outside 4wheeling and sledding.  She did laundry, helped organize Grace's room (that doesn't remotely explain the reno that took place in her room and closet), cooked for us a couple nights, and played school w/ the kids a lot.  The kids pretended to be a teacher and classroom doggy.  Guess who was which, haha.  Mom was a student.  (Entertaining to hear, esp while sipping hot tea and looking out on 4" of powdery snow)...  After the snow days, the fam and I (including nephew) volunteered for a couple hours at a church Christmas event.  It was fun and afterward, we all ate din together, hubby's sis and her fam, us and ours.  It was nice and there was lots of joking - a few about working out.  I think my days of couch potato butt...yep...they're coming to a screeching halt. I miss my biker days.  (insert: yard sale bicycle with trailer behind it days).  I also miss my size 6 days. 

Looking forward to celebrating Jesus.  I really think my babies get it this year.  We didn't have to kill santa either.  Still not wild about the big red guy.  Less wild about the exorbitant gifting.  Not a scrooge though.  Just overwhelmed.  Hub is a great gifter, so he kind of carries us through the whims of the season, if you will.  I've shopped little to none.  Have mixed feelings about that.  Anyway, I better go.  6am comes early.  Merry Christmas.  Best of 14.

Peace and Gratitude

A breakthrough is occurring!  The repeating theme in my life lately is...PEACE is not achieved through perfection.  PEACE is a state of mind.  I'm a slow learner but I have a husband who loves me and whose bear hugs speak more than words.  He is glad I'm getting there, too.  I know it isn't easy for him.  So now, as I type, the house is upside down and the kids are locked in on a cartoon.  I type and I let go.  Let go and let God.  I reach my hand out, uncoil my fist, and let go.  Freedom.

This time of the year, farming typically slows down.  Typically.  Due to various farm obstacles, including a blowup with a railroad company (they accidentally  sprayed our cash crop) and a broken combine that has been pushed 15 years past its prime.  Then there is the menial, daily farm challenges like tire blow-outs at just the wrong time and too much rain over this crop, etc.  My hubby relates to my daughter through the brokenness, though.  "I put a combine back together today just like YOU put your lego set together."  She beams.  I stand amazed at how naturally they communicate.  He throws ibuprofen back and grills dinner for us.  We're all tired.  This is month 7 of the 70 hour weeks.  I long for December, January, and February.  We tuck in and it just feels different in heart and home then.  I'm so thankful for such a strong man - whose absence is missed as soon as he walks out each morning.  The kids want their daddy all day while he's gone.  He's the more laid-back of the two of us.  In my inner circling around what PEACE is, I've eased up a lot on routines.  Daddy has had to enforce more, which has pushed his patience a wee bit (and I smile but not mockingly).  I am so very blessed to have that kind of man, who works when he rests too, though.  I pray for continued balance for our family, and have finally zeroed in on a major issue that has caused us to lose some peace and piece of mind.  As I reach upward and the sun blinds me with warmth and purity, I see all that for which I'm grateful.  It's impossible to gain peace without seeing all the blessings poured over me.

Grateful for... 

I'm grateful for true friends and family.  I'm grateful for those who take the time and make the time.  I'm grateful for antibiotics.  Little boy had a bad case of strep.  I'm grateful for a mom and dad who give wise advice.  I'm grateful for being a stay at home mom the last 7 years.  It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.  I'm grateful for having a teaching certificate.  My calling is there, too.  I'm grateful for a truly funny little boy who is going through a Peter Pan phase that is downright precious.  I'm grateful for a daughter who reads chapter books, and who buckled her baby doll in a stroller this morning for a morning walk.  I'm grateful for my mother-in-law.  I'm thankful for bright orange pumpkins and bumpy gooseneck gourds.  I'm thankful for crimson leaves.  I'm thankful for swing sets and our energetic black dog.  (Can't think of one without the other- she nearly terrorizes the kids each time they go out to swing!  ha)  I'm thankful for learning toys.  They make this teacher-mom so happy.  I'm thankful for DVR because the commercials are not fit for kids these days.  I'm thankful for having a washing machine and dryer.  They were needed a lot when little guy had strep.  I'm thankful for the ability to see Old Glory flying from the kids' playhouse this morning.  The wind whips her gently.  I'm thankful that despite all my shortcomings, God is still working on me to show me what peace is and what it isn't. 

So True!

I hope I never forget!

I have office work to complete at home today and the length of my post is proof...but do (please do) take a few minutes to indulge in this post.  By the way, don't let the Coco Chanel title dissuade you (It nearly dissuaded me).  I may never own Coco Chanel but I harbor an inner love of luxury.  For further clarification, when I say luxury, I DON'T mean wealth!  Here's to you!

New Day Dawning

 

 

 

I went for a short run this morning and when I pulled in the driveway, this is what I saw.  All I have been thinking of since is this song that we hear at the beach.  "There's a New Day Dawning"  We attend church service at the beach down on the gulf when we're there.  Years lapse and they sing the same song when we return.  "There's a New Day Dawning"  This past year, it rained and rained during the service.  The kids' service was held in the back of a small trailer on wheels.  We ducked as we stepped in to talk to the preacher's wife.  She was cleaning up from the service (I'll admit we sat in the van for most of the service and really couldn't hear much of anything). We met her years ago when G was 3.  She told G as we stepped in out of the wetness, "You're special.  God is going to do great things with your life."  I laughed as I talked to her about our first experience at the beach service.  G threw a terrible tantrum, screamed "I WANNA THEE JETHUTH" (I wanna see Jesus) as we tore her away from the service and forced her into the car.  Before we got that far though, G flipped a rubber band and it hit said pastor's wife right square in the eye.  It hurt.  I could tell.  She acted kind of aggravated.  When I told her of our memory of the service...she didn't say she did or did NOT recall it...she just said what I mentioned above..."God is going to do great things with your life."  I wonder if she realized this before or after the rubber band episode.  No matter.  She spoke the truth.  This momma knows it!  

Falling

Fall runs at us with open arms.  It's warm once we embrace, but cold at first as it blows by us, through us, over us, around us.  It's beautifully colorful.  The leaves crack, crunch, split apart beneath our feet.  Alarm clocks ring, schools bells ding, church bells sing.  Children rush, teachers hush, parents push.  Bright white papers fill up line by line by line.  Brains fill up hour by hour.  New concepts are taught, many in the books, but most, after the book closes.  And we pray.  We pray.  We see prayers answered.  We wrestle with, grapple with, laugh with, hug on each other.  People scurry and hurry.  We try to grab them but they're a mist.  People linger longer.  We pause for them but maybe not long enough.  We plan and plan a span of time.  We think we can.  Fall pulls us in, offers us warm light to warm our hearts.  We bask in the faint glow, we wrap up in it.  And we fall.  We fall for it.  All of it.  And it's a whirlwind.  And we love it.  And it's a lullaby.  And dusky peaceful quietness falls as we fall to our knees.

Faith

Grace accepted Jesus!  She is getting baptized Sunday.  When the pastor asked her what she knew about Jesus, she said, "Well...I know a lot.  He never lies."  She said something else but I can't remember what exactly!  She also answered him that yes, Jesus died to wash away our sins.  She studied the pastor's face as he asked her questions (I was sitting beside him and I could see her face).  When she paused to answer, he began to prompt her a bit.  I knew she didn't know which part to share :) because I know my girl.  For a second, I think he wasn't sure if she understood (I've seen this before when other adults have asked her a deep question ...she thinks long and hard because she is a deep thinker!)...then as they talked, he quickly saw she was more than ready.  She actually began talking to me about becoming a Christian WELL over a year ago, and at Upward Cheerleading one night, during a devotional, she gave her little heart to our savior!  I waited until now to let her move forward (not that I held her back; I just waited until she came back to me).  The following Sunday (8/26), she went up front in front of the congregation.  Dr. J asked her to step up the steps so everyone could see her.  He went on to recount how she said she knew a lot about Jesus and how he came to visit us one time and we made Grace go to bed while he was visiting and he felt so sorry for her.  HAHA!!!  Mean ole' mommy and daddy.  I am so proud of our girl.  She is growing into a beautiful person!  I know God heard my prayers as I knelt at the altar last Sunday; I see them being answered now at the tender age she is.  She said several times...today is one of the best days of my life.  She was so genuinely joyful.  Something that only Christ can do lit her up.  Faith like a child!

Happy to say...

Happy to say I have no pictures yet again, no wise or witty words to type either.  We have, however, had a summer full to the brim with life, love, family near and far, friends, church, carnival rides, lake and pool time, fish fry dinner, park w/ cousins, park w/ poppa, park w/ nonna, grilled yumminess, movies (Monsters U most recently), card games (nieces, poppa Grace, and I got hooked on Spoons recently), bingo (sight word bingo ;) teacher-momma), dinners out w/ friends, and the best part of all...two vbs's which means more time in the Lord's House...one of my fave things about summer!!!  I have seen more extended family and friends who live away than I have in years!  Even my cousin from GA ended up coming over for a quick overnight stay while I was at my parents!  Sometimes things work out best when they're impromptu!  My goal was to be off the computer more this summer and I've succeeded here.  Now FB is next to go!  I'm embarking on a weight loss journey yet again, and Lord knows, that will take all my mental capacity bc in the south, food=happiness and food=all anyone talks about (myself included).  Over 2 years I've gained 15 lbs by eating everything I wanted, basically!  YUCK!  I'm so over obsessing about food in general, and even moreso, hearing it being obsessed over!  So here's to a good balance.  Again. :)  Signing off and soon, off fb.  Have a few pics to develop first though.  Have a great summer.  The rest of the summer, we plan to attend a fireworks show (tonight actually), go to the drive-in, and I will be in the office a lot to prepare for a big August event!  Grace will start her lemonade stand this Wednesday at the market, too, and that's come to be something she LOVES about summertime!  I know this is choppy and all- sorry!  Happy summers all around.